Joy Through Suffering

Throughout our lives, we will inevitably see a great deal of suffering, whether it be a person fighting for his life, a couple considering divorce or a single mother trying to keep food on the table for her children. As Christians, we are not free from life's struggles, but have Help through all hard times (Matthew 11:28-29, Isaiah 40:29-31).

While I have not read Rhonda Byrne's book The Secret (and do not intend to), from what I've gleaned from reviews and friends, I believe she has a good point, at least in theory. The "secret" she shares is living a life of joy through your attitude. Her book is not written from a Christian perspective, but is written with a Godly attitude, in my opinion.

Last week, I watched Ben Breedlove's video that has recently gone viral over the internet. In his 18 years of life, Ben learned more than many of us ever will. Although he was born with a very serious heart condition, he lived a life filled with joy. As you watch the video, you will learn that the experiences in which he "cheated death" didn't scare him, but gave him hope for the future, whatever and wherever that may be. At the age of 4, he saw "the bright light" and even in his innocence, recognized the presence of God. He made this video a week before he passed away. While his family and friends are obviously suffering from their loss, through this video, it is obvious that Ben is happy where he is and he was very satisfied with the things he accomplished in his short life.



When I think of someone living a life of joy, I immediately think of Ed Horn. No, you probably don't know him and you haven't heard his story. I never had the privilege of meeting Ed, but he has long been an inspiration in my life. He is the late husband of my dear friend, Kelley. Ed suffered from anaplastic large cell lymphoma in leukemic phase (I think that's right- I always mess that up) and his health declined rapidly. He spent the majority of his last months on Earth in the hospital, but his faith in God and the joy in the life God had given him was unwavering. There are two things I remember vividly from his journey to Heaven: on their anniversary, Ed and Kelley danced in the hospital, and after he passed, Kelley found he had written in His Bible that God held his cancer in His hands. I can only imagine the pain Ed felt, both physically and emotionally, but he always had a beaming smile on his face and spoke to so many people through that smile.


A few years ago, after praying for circumstances in my life, I realized that I was no longer living a life of joy; my overflowing glass had become half-empty. I began praying that God would break through the shell around my heart so I could once again live a life like Ed and Ben. I wanted to feel God's joy, no matter the circumstance. As God began to reveal Himself to me, I found myself more willing to open up my heart to Him. He began to mold me and to change my heart and my attitude... and I found joy again. Once again, I learned to fully rely on God and began to see Him in everything- from the geese that held up traffic as they slowly waddled across 280 to the purple flowers budding in trees. I saw God on the faces of the women at the shelter and in the stripes of the zebras at the zoo. When you ask God to reveal himself, He does just that!

In hindsight, I can see God's hand in the struggle. What once was misery is now one of the greatest learning experiences of my life. Not only did I see the things I was doing to fail God and really, myself by allowing Satan to rob just one minute of joy, but I also learned that God was there with every step, even if I wasn't willing to acknowledge Him.

In saying all of this, I'm not trying to portray a Mary Poppins type life; I have days where I fall apart. Some days, it's as simple as the house smelling funny because the trash didn't go out. Others, I have real problems, like my cousin and lifelong partner in crime in ICU, nearly paralyzed. The difference between then and now is how I handle those things.

As Christians, we have a choice in every situation. We can let Satan exchange that minute of joy for a moment of heartache or we can have hope that God's got everything under control. As for me, I want my hope to make me glad. I want to find my joy, even in suffering.

Romans 12:12 Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying.

Proverbs 10:28 The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.

Far More Valuable Than Diamonds

As a woman, there is a lot of pressure: to be desirable, you have to have the toned legs and belly of an airbrushed runway model; to succeed in the workplace, you must overcome your gender and claw your way up the corporate ladder; to succeed as a mother, your children must have good manners and earn good grades; to be a good wife, you have to don your apron and make June Cleaver look like a scrub!

While I don't feel a part of my purpose is to crawl up the corporate ladder, I know part of it is to be a good wife... and I have moments where I feel like I'm not living up to potential. I have been in the pressure cooker lately and at times, I feel like my head may explode.

I am one of those weird people who has a precise spot for everything and can tell, down to the millimeter, if something's been moved. I detest clutter and am thrilled by a freshly organized cabinet. I grew up in a household that boasted squeaky clean baseboards and remote controls wrapped in Ziploc bags (yes, I'm serious). While I'm not THAT bad, very little makes me happier than going to bed on crisp, clean sheets in a freshly cleaned home.

With that being said, I married a man who is fine with leaving soiled plates on the counter for days and whose idea of organizing is leaving his shoes in one place on the floor and towels in another. Needless to say, keeping our home maintained in a fashion I find suitable is difficult. I don't need a spotless house, but I do want it to be presentable. I have really had to learn to chill out my OCD tendencies.

Last week, I came home in an extremely foul mood. I'm surprised that no living being turned to stone when my eyes locked on their's. When I got home, the kitchen sink was overflowing with dishes and there were 2 plates and a cup on the island. This was perplexing since the kitchen had been clean when I left 12 hours earlier. I begrudgingly unloaded the dishwasher and instead of unloading on anyone (even those without opposable thumbs), the silverware really got a talking to.

After venting to the salad forks, I calmed down a little and began a nice conversation with a teapot. Ok, I'm kidding about that, but I did talk to myself and God.



Like everyone reading, I have a lot going on. Along with being a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a friend and a puppy mommy, I work full time and run an Etsy shop on the side. I try to take care of myself to control Fibromyalgia symptoms and to look good for my husband. All of this combined makes for one very stressed little girl that watches the clock like a hawk.

It was through the clatter of stainless steel that I had an epiphany and was reminded of the picture of the ideal wife.

"A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treat him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons...First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor... When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise." Proverbs 31

I believe women are meant to be busy. God granted us with the assets we possess so we can take care of our husbands and family, keep a home running efficiently (and cleanly) and work where necessary to benefit our families. Although the woman described in Proverbs 31, the ideal wife, was busy, she carried out her tasks with grace and was praised for her hard work and positive attitude.

Through my time at the sink, I began to wonder how in the world I would ever learn to balance the busyness of my life? How does someone like me learn to deal with coming home to find a once spotless home covered with crusty dishes and piles of clothes?

I could organize every inch of my house, manage my time with the precision of a football coach (well, just not Les Miles), and clear my schedule of extracurricular activities, but I believe the answer is much more simple. If God gave me the assets to run a home and a family, doesn't it make sense that He would be the one to ask how to use them? The only answer I see is to seek advice and wisdom from the One who made me capable of fitting into the mold of a Proverbs 31 wife.



I'm a new wife and learning to jive my life with another is something I've never had to do. Until June 4, my life was MY life. Now, my life is OUR life. Without God at the center of our marriage, I will undoubtedly feel the heat of that pressure cooker, but with God at the helm, our marriage is built on a Rock and dirty dishes and life's unexpected bumps are already taken care of. We just have to ask. God is for us, even if we're a bit OCD or slobs messy and only He can bring those two idiosyncrasies together in complete harmony.

"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeing, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Edit: P.S. I would like to add that I once told Clay to run some water on plates and bowls and I would load the dishwasher, thus some of the mess. I told him that the growing pile of dry plates, both in and out of the sink, and skillets bothered me. We came up with a plan together and voila! Crisis diverted. Marriage is a give and take. He does a great job of meeting me halfway and for that, I am grateful. He looks past my OCD ways and loves me all the same!