Baby 2.0: Fifteen weeks (and a gender reveal!!!!!!!)

Well, hey there, belly!  Where did that thing come from??

How far along? 15 weeks
Baby's size: Approximately 4 inches from head to booty and about 2.5 ounces.  

Total weight gain/loss: Two pounds.

Stretch marks? I am appalled to say I think I see some around my belly button.  Pretty sure this baby is higher and pushing out above my belly button.
Sleep? Thankfully it has improved a lot and I'm sleeping again!  

Maternity clothes? I can still wear my regular clothes, but have switched for the most part because it's more comfortable.
Best moment this week: Finding out what the baby is!!

Worst Moment: We went to our appointment determined to find out what the baby is and had our families and the Facebook world all excited about finding out the sex.  Well, the little stinker sat Indian style and had the cord between its legs for 15 minutes.  We had to leave the ultrasound room and see the doctor.  I spent a lot of time hopping up and down and considered standing on my head to get it to move, but fortunately, it moved its legs just enough to get a shot!  
Symptoms: I have had a lot of pain in my lower left abdomen and my back feels like it's in knots (but that's probably from all the coughing and sneezing I've done)

Miss Anything? Ummm don't think so.
Movement: I feel strong, strong pressure hard up against my skin next to my belly button. It's harder than flutters, but lighter than kicks.
Anything making you queasy or sick? Chicken.  Well, meat in general. 

Gender: It's a..................................................

GIRL!

What is baby up to? Amniotic fluid continuously moves through her nose and upper respiratory tract, helping the air sacs in her lungs develop.  Her legs are longer than her arms, and she can move all of her limbs.  Her eyelids are still fused shut for a while, but she can sense light and will likely move away from direct light that is shined on my belly.  She is also forming tastebuds for that first taste of milk! 

Meet Miss Riley!  I think she's already beautiful and so perfect!

Baby Chicken (or turkey) Nuggets

Our little linebacker began taking interest in our food around 2.5 months and was attempting to steal our forks at 3 months.  We started him on solids at 4 months.  Since he was beginning so early, we decided to feed him purees in lieu of the original plan to practice Baby Led Weaning.

I am a firm believer that good health starts from the beginning.  Growing up, my favorite snacks were carrots with ranch dressing and strawberries.  Today, if you put a crudite tray in front of me, I am still all over it.  Clay and I try to be healthy and really wanted to build a foundation for Bryson that would last a lifetime.  That meant foregoing the convenience of packaged foods and artificial flavors, both in his purees and the adult food he consumed.  Sure, if bacon cheeseburgers and onion rings are your thing, it's easier to give baby a piece of what you're eating, but baby's well-being should trump convenience every time.

I started out making Bryson's purees.  With each new food, he got the jarred stuff once or twice and if he liked it, I made a batch.  I used only organic frozen varieties even though we aren't strict about eating only organic fruits and vegetables.  Frozen vegetables are much more nutritious than canned, or even from the produce section oftentimes, because they're frozen at their peak.

At 6 months, we began to give Bryson chunks of food, starting with things we knew he liked: carrots, pears, etc.  Now that he is almost 8-months-old, he is almost past purees.  At dinnertime, we all sit at the dining table and Bryson gets some of what we're eating.

Since some of our food isn't baby-friendly, I have been experimenting with recipes for Bryson and have stumbled upon a hit!  Not only does he love it, but it's great for him, is easy to make AND can be frozen for future use!

Seriously, iPhone, you couldn't take a better picture??

Ingredients:

- 1 pound ground chicken

- 1 apple 

- 1-2 adult carrot(s)

- 1/2 yellow or white onion

- 1 egg

- 1/2 cup whole wheat bread crumbs

- 1/2 garlic clove

- 1 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

- dried thyme, if desired

- black pepper, if desired

Directions:

- Peel the apple and shred the carrot. Cut into chunks and put in a food processor with the garlic and onion.

- Process the ingredients until they're smooth, but still chunky.  They don't need to be pureed.

- Combine apple, carrot, onion and garlic with ground meat.

- Add in the white of the egg.  Adding the yolk may make it runny.  Add desired spices.

- Mix everything together well.

- Add 1/4-cup of the bread crumbs and mix.

- Add remaining bread crumbs if needed.

- Form into balls, then flatten each ball into a nugget shape.

- Heat a stovetop grill or pan on medium heat.

- Add 1 tbsp olive oil and allow it to heat up.

- Cook the nuggets on each side for roughly 7 minutes.  Don't overcrowd the pan or they take forever.

- Finish in a 350 degree oven for a few minutes if you're unsure if they're done.  Babies CANNOT eat under-cooked meat.

Tips:

- I actually used turkey because our grocery store stinks and didn't have ground chicken. You can use any meat, but I recommend using something with 9% or less fat. I used 97/3 because I prefer extra lean.

- Bryson has never had garlic before, so I only added it to half. If your baby hasn't had or doesn't like onion, garlic or spices, play around with the combination.

-This yields a lot of nuggets, so you can freeze them for later.  I packaged 5-6 nuggets together in plastic wrap, then put all of the packages together in one ZipLoc bag.  Adding the plastic wrap helps prevent freezer burn and makes it easier to get smaller portions out.

The apples and carrot release their juices during the cooking process, so the nuggets are super soft and easy to chew.  When Bryson took his first bite, his eyes got huge and he grabbed for more.  I'd say he's a fan!  I hope your little one loves them too!

Bryson's Room

After months of agonizing over whether or not to get a bedding set, if we should paint the walls since we plan to put the house on the market soon, and how to incorporate a Bible verse we've been getting from God repeatedly, Bryson's room is done.  I set a deadline of June 10 for everything to be complete, including getting all of the things we'll need immediately, packing his hospital bag, installing the car seat and finishing his room.  We are 10 days ahead of schedule and it feels GREAT!

The wreath on the door.  This will also be on the hospital door.

The view from the door.  I still need to shift the ball canvases.  There were 4, but one looked terrible, so I trashed it.

Above the door

His crib

Inside the crib.  Of course, these things will come out when he sleeps in there.
The gray bunny is the only stuffed animal I have from my childhood and it won't be played with.
Clay and I built the monkey with the aviators for my birthday in 2008.  When you squeeze his hand, Clay's best monkey impression plays.  I love it!

The rug in front of the crib.  I can already see toy cars lining the streets.
The baseball glove was his Daddy's.

The recliner is temporary in there as it really belongs in the man cave.  We just needed a place to keep it until we move.
The pillow is made from the bumper that came with the bedding set.  The afghan is Alabama & Auburn colors and was made by Christy at Yarn Over Little Rock.

The dresser  I put together all by myself.  Go me!  The stuffed blue dog will come down eventually, but  a certain little black dog keeps trying to play with it.  Bryson's first ultrasound picture is in the frame. He was such a little guy then.

I found the football frame, coin bank and field chalkboard at Target and couldn't resist.  I made the baseball bookends on a whim and love how they turned out.  The frame contains the poem Clay's parents wrote and framed for Christmas.

Clay and I have been hearing this verse a lot when praying about Bryson, so we knew we wanted to incorporate it into his room.  We played with a lot of designs and couldn't come with anything until this.  It didn't turn out quite the way we wanted, but it works.

One side of his closet.  All newborn and 0-3 month clothes are in his dresser, so these are all 3+ months.  The nightstand is full of wipes and books.

Above the closet door.

Now all we need is a little boy and we're set!

Baby Dreams

Since I learned of the impending arrival of our little one, I've dreamed about him on multiple occasions.  I have never had dreams about a little girl, but instantly began dreaming about a precious little boy.  At one point, I was even certain we were having a girl, but boy dreams continued.

In each dream, I see him in clear detail and he looks the same each time.  If he comes out looking like my dreams, move over Gerber baby, Bryson Stoker puts you to shame!  Oh who am I kidding?  He will anyway.  No, I'm not biased and how dare you accuse me....

Last night, Bryson was center stage in every dream.  Throughout the night, I saw Clay change his first diaper... and get his first Bryson shower.  (Hey, it's my subconscious- I can't control it, but I sure do love my sense of humor)  I saw his little feet and the folds of skin on his chunky little arms.  I felt the instant bond that formed when he nursed and my heart melted at his little smile.  I woke up multiple times and always had a smile on my face... until I realized he wasn't here yet.

I have never boasted of my patience and I get it honestly.  My mom always says she was standing in the patience line in Heaven, but got tired of waiting and left.  That's me.  Slow drivers, the days leading up to Princess Andrea Day my birthday and Bailey dragging her feet to come inside drive me nuts!  Since getting pregnant, I've decided it was God's ploy to teach the impatient women of the world how to slow down and wait.... and wait... and wait...

In thinking back, the days since I saw my first positive pregnancy test on November 5 have flown by, but the realization that I still have 85 whole days until my little man's due date is disheartening.  After our scare with early contractions, I swore I wouldn't say "I can't wait until he gets here" because I can, in fact, wait if it means he's healthy and able to survive outside my belly.  That being said, I CAN'T WAIT 'TIL HE GETS HERE!  Last night's dreams were so real and so ingrained in my mind that I am able to replay each second with perfect clarity.  I have a feeling that the next 85 days are going to creeeeeep by.

Little man, Mommy is incredibly excited about your arrival.  I know God has His hand on you and will decide when it's time for us to meet face to face and I can't wait for that day, but until then, keep on rockin' and rollin' in my belly.  Your kicks, flips and punches make for great entertainment and I hope will make the next 85 easier for me to handle without going absolutely crazy! :)

Dear Bryson

Dear Bryson,

We got to see you again yesterday. I never thought I'd look forward to visiting the doctor, but I count down the days each month, especially when we get an ultrasound. Your heartbeat is BY FAR the most amazing sound in the world. Seriously, it turns me into a puddle of Mommy goo every time I hear it. It's an amazing feat of willpower if the tears that well up in my eyes stay there instead of streaming down my face.

Obviously, I think about you every day. I wonder what you're doing in my belly- if you're sleeping and sometimes even if you're comfortable. I can usually tell when you're awake because you like that bladder shaped trampoline installed near you. :) I wonder what color hair you'll be born with and if you'll have your Daddy's eyes. I wonder if you can hear us talking to you and if you can tell the difference between me and Daddy. Sometimes Jenna lays her head or paw on my belly. I always wonder if you know that's your puppy saying hi to you.

Every Tuesday, I send an update on your development to your Daddy, grandparents, Aunt Trisha and Aunt Leigh. It's amazing to see how quickly you've developed. Being that I'm a Biology nerd and am adamantly pro-life, I know the stages of development, but until you came along, they were just facts. Now those facts are mixed with emotion, amazement and complete awe.

Just 18 weeks ago, you were conceived. I know, I know, you want to know nothing about your conception. That's as far as I'm going. I just can't stop thinking that in a mere 18 weeks, you've developed into a perfect, tiny human. You have working organs, fingerprints, eyelashes, taste buds. You're basically your Daddy, but in miniature form!

Your Daddy and I talk a lot about how amazing you are. You're bound to hear that from us your entire life, but right now, we're completely mesmerized by you. Yesterday, we watched as you extended your legs and flexed your foot. We watched your hand near your face as you searched for your mouth with your thumb. You were just being your baby self, but you had us laughing and me crying. We've bragged to everyone we know about your growth, your sweet little yawn and that you've got good muscle tone when you flex. Yes, you flexed, as evidenced here. I told you you're a mini Daddy!



I thought I knew love before you. After all, I love God and have had a lifelong relationship with Him. Your Daddy is the love of my life and I fall deeper in love with him on a daily basis. I love our family with my whole heart and my friends fill a very special place in my heart. Until you came along, I never understood that love between a Mom and her baby that I've heard so much about. Now I do. I understand a love so deep that means sacrificing whatever necessary, even chocolate and Diet Mountain Dew!! I understand a love that, on the fourth nightly bathroom trip at 3:00 AM, isn't annoying, but precious that the life inside me is growing.

Little man, your daddy and I are anxiously awaiting the day we get to meet you. We both agree it will be the best day of our lives, even better than our wedding day. Not only will we be together as husband and wife, but we'll meet the newest, smallest love of our lives and become Stoker Part of Three... err... Five. We can't leave the pups out. :)

We love you!

20 week pictures

As mentioned in the post below, yesterday was our 20 week ultrasound. Bryson is growing like a weed and is, in fact, 8 days ahead.

We got a sneak peak of the 4D images. In this one, his head is at the top right corner. His hand is curled up next to his nose (middle of the picture). The loopy thing below his hand (bottom middle) is his knee.

This picture is laid out the same as above. I think he looks like Clay here. He was just finishing a yawn.

This is my favorite picture of the day. Right above the tip of the pen is the top of his thigh. Look at that thigh in comparison to the picture below from 4 weeks ago! His foot is labeled on the left side of the picture. He definitely has Daddy's big ol' feet!

The 16 week ultrasound picture. His leg extends the entire top of the picture. Long, skinny legs there.

On the left is his head. Immediately to the left of the words "Big Yawn" is his mouth. He was yawning the entire time and this one was big. Look how wide his mouth is! His belly is on the right of the picture- it's already getting chubby! Did you yawn looking at this picture? I do EVERY time... and well, I've looked at it at least 100 times. :)

His head is on the left and his arm is extended above it. He likes to keep his hand around his nose.

There's the Daddy foot! The toes are on the left (to the right of the word "foot")- you can see the definition if you look hard enough. He's got long monkey toes!

16 weeks... and the baby is......

How far along? 16 weeks and 2 days

Baby's size: The ultrasound showed roughly 11 centimeters from the top of the head to the bottom of the booty. Little one sure has some long legs to add to those 11 centimeters, though.

Total weight gain/loss: Up 7 pounds/

Stretch marks? None so far. I'm drinking water like a fish and lathering myself in every lotion and oil you can think of.

Sleep? Ugh. What's that?

Maternity clothes? I'm about to have to buy a whole new wardrobe. This kiddo is growing like a weed!

Best moment this week: Feeling a little fish flopping right below my belly button and seeing it swimming on the ultrasound. What tops both of those was seeing between his/her little legs...

Worst Moment: Another terrible dream. Ready for those to stop now.

Cravings: Wings. I want them BAD.

Symptoms: Outside of the aforementioned wings, I still don't want meat.

Miss Anything? Normal, uninterrupted sleep full of pleasant dreams.

Movement: I have what feels like a fish flopping about 3 inches below my belly button. It's soooo weird. I keep staring at my belly to see if I can see anything from the outside.

Anything making you queasy or sick? I keep gagging when I brush my teeth. So, so gross.

Sex: Well, ladies and gentlemen, Baby Stoker is a ..............................................
BOY!!!!! His name is Bryson. :)

What is baby up to? Bryson has a strong heartbeat (120, then 140 at our appointment). He is now able to hear due to the tiny bones forming in his ears. I've been having conversations with him a lot lately. He is growing hair, eye lashes and eye brows AND he's forming taste buds (eww amniotic fluid!). He's roughly 4 inches from crown to rump, so he would fit perfectly in our hands. He can open and close his mouth and is even yawning! (Darn it, that made me yawn)

Having this ultrasound where he looks like a human has turned me into THAT mother. I'm showing off pictures, even though nobody ever knows what they're looking at.

Here are a few of the ultrasound pictures. He wasn't shy about showing his... umm... winky off. This is the one time I will be glad he's showing it off. Give me a few years when he's in the discovery and "show me yours and I'll show you mine" phase and I'll think differently. :)

Head on the left.  His legs are waaaay above his head.

Head on the left. His little arm is jutting out.  We said he was flexing.

Most obviously a boy. :)

This one's blurry, but shows the best view of the profile of his wittle face (on left)

Isn't he the cutest little thing you've ever seen?

15 weeks!

Terrible, terrible picture.  This is the last week of unplanned pictures, I promise.

How far along? 15 weeks

Baby's size: Baby S is roughly 4 inches long and weighs 2.5 ounces, comparable to an orange!

Total weight gain/loss: I'm guessing my total gained is about 6 pounds.

Stretch marks? No. I discovered coconut oil and am about to add that to my routine.

Sleep? Ugh. I'm not accustomed to waking up in the middle of the night. It seems like every time I get up to use the bathroom, I'm awake for hours. This morning, I woke up at 2, tiptoed around Bailey to get to the bathroom and back, then was WIDE. AWAKE. for an hour. Pure torture!

Maternity clothes? I think I may wear maternity clothes forever. They're so comfy!

Best moment this week: I felt the first baby flutters today. It makes me giddy!

Worst Moment: Being awake for almost 3 hours Saturday night while the rest of my family snoozed. It makes me jealous!

Cravings: Chocolate and/or ice cream.

Symptoms: Just headaches, which have subsided slightly. I finally got a prescription because Tylenol doesn't touch the pain, but haven't had to take it.

Miss Anything? Uninterrupted sleep. Are you seeing a pattern here?

Movement: Well, I said this above. I am feeling flutters in my lower left abdomen. It's unlike anything I've ever felt. When I tried describe it earlier, I said to imagine swallowing a live butterfly and it's trying to get out. That's how it feels- sooooo weird, but so cool!

Anything making you queasy or sick? I still can't stand the thought of plain meat, but am able to eat it mixed with veggies.

Sex: Clay and I decided to do an elective ultrasound at our appointment next week so we can find out the sex early! I. CAN'T. WAIT!!!

What is baby up to? All of his/her joints and limbs are moving now. I can't wait to see the little swimmer on the ultrasound! We are basically in maturation phase- everything in his/her little body has begun forming but are maturing so they can operate outside my belly! The highlight of our week was finding out that the baby can hear some things from the outside world. If you see me out and it looks like I'm talking to myself, fear not- I'm talking to my child! He/she already owns a ton of books, so we may be reading tonight. :)

14 (my new favorite number) Weeks!

On Monday, January 9, the University of Alabama Crimson Tide won its 14th national title and on Tuesday, January 10, I was officially 14 weeks pregnant. I think it's safe to say I have a new favorite number.
GROW BABY GROW
&
ROLL TIDE ROLL!

How far along? 14 weeks (and 3 days since I'm posting on Friday)

Baby's size: Roughly 3.4 inches and 1.5 ounces, comparable to a lemon!

Total weight gain/loss: Still holding at 5 pounds

Stretch marks? Nope.

Sleep? Because of all the stretching my body is doing and the cold & rainy weather, I'm soooo sore. I've been sleeping with a pillow between my knees, but it's not working. I'm getting a pregnancy pillow this weekend, so I'm hoping it will help me sleep better.

Maternity clothes? I broke down and bought some shirts last weekend, mostly so I'd have some that are long enough for leggings.

Best moment this week: This is not pregnancy related, but the highlight of the week so far was Alabama winning the national championship. I had a feeling we'd come out firing on all cylinders and that we did. So, so proud of my boys.

Worst Moment: Waking up at 3:30AM and not going back to sleep for 2 hours. I always fall asleep right before my alarm goes off.

Cravings: I can't get enough fruit. I made an awesome fruit salad with watermelon, kiwi, pineapple, grapes and strawberries last weekend and am currently halfway through my second large bowl. I'll be sad when it's all gone. Most of my other cravings are pretty suggestive and just because I see them on TV or someone mentions them.

Symptoms: Stretching pains and constant headaches. Again I say, Tylenol does not work!

Miss Anything? Hot baths. I don't like all these lukewarm ones I'm taking. :)

Movement: I thought I felt something, but I think it's still too early.

Anything making you queasy or sick? I still can't stand the idea of meat unless it's mixed in to something.

Sex: 6 more weeks!

What is baby up to? SO MUCH! He/she is probably sucking his/her thumbs and wiggling his/her toes. The kidneys are making urine and the liver and spleen are operating too! Lanugo, a peach-fuzz like hair is growing over the body to help keep him/her warm. The ears are starting to move to the side of the head and the eyes continue to get closer together. Our sweet little one is even beginning to grow eyebrows!

Christmas Wrap-Up

Our gingerbread houses. Left: Clay's, Right: Mine

I hate to break it to those of you who are reading, but Clay and I have the best families EVER! Since our parents are divorced, we have two Christmas gatherings a piece. December was a great month, full of laughter, new memories, family and friends.

On December 10, we went to Clay's mom's house to open gifts and fellowship with the family. All three nephews and our niece were there, so it was a blast. We got two of our nephews Lego cars that they put together quickly and the four kids spent the afternoon giggling at the cars crashing into walls and feet.

From there, we went to Fayette to spend the night with Clay's dad and stepmom, Rosita. Their house is so comfortable and basically like a second home for me. The next morning, the rest of the family showed up for more food and more presents! When all the gifts were opened, Clay's dad said there was one more gift for someone who wasn't there to accept it and walked toward us with a bag. I knew this was for the baby and a lump immediately rose in my throat. I dare you tell me this baby doesn't have the best family after seeing these.


This is a very special gift
For our grand baby you see.
Because this is the very first year
That you'll have something under our tree.
We don't know yet if you're a girl or boy
But we don't care.
Because either one will bring us lots of joy.
You don't yet know how luck you'll be
To have Christian parents to love you
But someday- you will see.
For now we leave you in God's care
But when you make your grand entrance
Paw Paw and Nana will surely be there.
We'll pick you up and love
And hold your little hand.
This will officially greet you
Into "The Stoker Clan."

On the 16th, we met my mom to pick up our big Christmas gift from her and my stepdad, Eddy. We chose a convertible crib so when our little girl/boy becomes a big girl/boy (nooooo, my baby!!!), transitioning will be easy. While we were there, we picked out the travel system since it was on super sale. Thanks to a gift card from my coworkers, we didn't pay a cent out of pocket for the stroller or car seat!

We were anxious to get everything together, so we spent the weekend putting both big things together and rearranging the house to get the nursery ready.

Both of my families gather on Christmas Eve which makes things much easier since they're about 80 miles away. We set out around noon to get to our first stop- the nursing home to visit my great Grandmother. We spent roughly an hour with her, talking about my late Papa (one of the greatest men to ever live in my eyes) and the baby. She was thrilled to learn about her very first great, great grandbaby.

When we got to my paternal Grandmother's house, they immediately made me sit down and open a gift. I unwrapped a recordable Christmas book. My great grandmother, grandmother and aunt had recorded the story in their voices and left a page for my maternal grandmother to record also. Yes, I bawled. It's such a precious gift and perfect timing. I gave my dad a small box to unwrap that contained a small framed picture of the first ultrasound. I don't think I've ever seen my dad smile so much. It made me so happy to see how excited he was to be a grandfather; he showed it off to everyone!

We also spent a few hours at my maternal grandmother and grandfather's house. That side of my family is huge and ridiculously close. Most of the family didn't know our good news, so we told the whole family about Baby Stoker's arrival while everyone was together. I'm so glad they finally know- it's been torture keeping it quiet! Baby Stoker got his/her first Bible from my grandparents, which I will treasure. Somehow I didn't take many pictures, but did take this video of my second cousin, Whitley. I had to share the preciousness of this kiddo.


Clay and I decided not to do real gifts for each other, but I had to do stocking stuffers. We spent Christmas morning opening stockings and the girls were very happy campers.


They got a toy to share and both got one big gift: Bailey, a new bed for the living room (which she has now learned to curl up in instead of laying straigt) and Jenna, a new Kohl's stuffed lion. Of course, both had to try out the other's new stuff.


Overall, we had an awesome, memorable Christmas. It wasn't about gifts or shopping, but spending time with people we love and celebrating the birth and love of our Savior. Our first married Christmas and last Christmas as a family of four was a success and I'm already pumped about Christmas 2012!

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

Two months ago today, I learned of your existence. As I try to describe the flood of emotions, I find myself at a loss for words. I'll admit it- the first was panic. While your Daddy and I have dreamed of you, you were arriving a bit earlier than we expected (you take after me and not your Daddy in that aspect). When my nerves settled, I got giggly. You'll inevitably see this emotion from me plenty of times. No matter the emotion I'm feeling, I feel it deeply... and wear it on my sleeve. Before I even told your Daddy about you, I was already picturing your cute little mouth and eyes the color of your Daddy's.

Speaking of your Daddy, when he found out, he started glowing. It makes me tear up every time I think of his reaction to the news. I was in tears, thinking he'd be concerned about your early arrival, but he got a big, goofy grin. He's an incredible, incredible man and will be an amazing Dad. He talks about you all the time and when he gets home from work, he rubs my belly and talks to you. He is so smitten already and you're still less than 3 inches long!

Your Daddy's smile was even bigger!

My lifelong dream has always been to have a family.  I've had the typical girl fantasies of a handsome husband, well-behaved kids, a dog or two and a home with a fenced backyard.  Growing up, I played house with my neighbors and cousins and I had more "life-like" baby dolls than any girl ever should.  I nursed boo boos, made up bedtime stories, and went on dates with my imaginary husband.

In June 2011, part one of that fantasy came true when I married your Daddy.  As you'll see in these posts, our relationship hasn't been perfect, but it was perfect for us.  We fought hard for our relationship and God intervened at the right time to ensure our union.  While we had a rough few months, it was all worth it because we learned how to communicate, how important our love for one another was, and most importantly, how important God's role in a relationship is.  When we got married, we had the dogs and the house, so all that was missing was you!  We had planned to wait to try for you until spring/summer of 2012, but God had other plans.

In all my daydreaming, I never went past the ideal scenario and considered what my fantasies entailed.  A marriage takes work- it takes a real commitment and genuine love for one another, learning to live with what you see as flaws in the other person (you know, leaving dirty socks in the middle of the floor or thinking every knick-knack in the house has a PRECISE spot), and being the person your mate needs and wants you to be.  Through our struggles, we learned how to deal with so many things, but marriage is definitely a never-ending lesson and one that I'm enjoying more than I ever imagined.

In regard to you, I didn't really consider the sleepless nights or the expense of diapers and daycare.  I never considered how my actions would affect you.  I thought about the adorable clothes and your toothless grins, the cute nursery and how good babies smell.  After all, this was a fantasy- who wanted to think of the hard stuff? Now that we're just 6 months away from meeting you, those thoughts are creeping in.  I can't believe it, but this lazy ol' bum is excited about all the work.  Sure, I hope you miraculously sleep through the night (bonus points if you're born potty trained), but since chances of that are slim, I look forward to the hours we'll spend cuddled together while I sing you to sleep (thank God that you won't remember this time and therefore, won't be terrified of my voice), changing diapers (or laughing as Daddy does it), and changing your clothes for the 4th time in one day. I realize that while I'm doing the not-so-pleasant things, I will also be watching you as you discover your little fingers and toes, seeing you smile for the first time and take your first steps.

Since we got married, Daddy and I have been talking about the aspects of our raising that we want our children to learn and the things we may do differently.  The closer we get to your arrival, the more I think of these things.  I realized last week that so many things I do and think are products of my raising and when a friend had a hard time, I was able to point to something in her childhood that produced the behavior.  I'll be honest here again- that scared me to death!  Your Daddy had a good point when I voiced my concerns: he and I were raised in similar fashions by great parents and with role models like that, we have patterns to repeat and a strong support system.  No, I don't know how we'll actually handle certain parenting situations because we've never done it and each kiddo is different, but I do know that we'll do everything in our power to make your life a great one.

I am probably beginning to babble because there is so much I want to say to you.  I will leave you with this: you are already loved so much, by Daddy and me, but also by your grandparents and our families.  Your Daddy and I have some awesome friends who are just as anxious about meeting you as we are.  More importantly, God loves you more than any of us could ever fathom.  He has ordained your life for something special and your Daddy and I have already given you back to Him.  Since you are God's child and we were chosen to raise you, we will rely heavily on God's direction.  While we make mistakes in our lives and will in yours, please know that we consider you in every move we make and are doing our very best to mold you into a great man or woman of God.

We love you and can't wait to meet you!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

PS. I'm adding these photos in for reference of all the people who are excited about your arrival.  Before you see the pictures, let me explain.  Facebook is a social networking site that's used by millions.  By the time you read my blog posts and this letter, chances are good that Facebook will only be found in history books.  You post something and all of your online friends can see.  They can choose to respond or just "like" what you have to say.  Just announcing your arrival made a lot of people really happy.





Every time I post about you, whether it's hearing your perfect little heartbeat or a picture of something that belongs to you, people go nuts!  You're a popular kiddo already and it makes this mommy very proud!

13 weeks!

How far along? 13 weeks (and 1 day)
Baby's size: The baby is roughly the size of a peach (2.9 inches long and .81 ounces)
Total weight gain/loss: As of my appointment on 12/27, I had gained 5 pounds (in a month). I hope I haven't gained any since.
Stretch marks? Nope.
Sleep? I'm sleeping okay, but having really weird dreams. Last week's standout dream was the weirdest so far- we had coyotes and sharks in our backyard and Jenna kept trying to play with them. I woke up in panic looking for her.
Maternity clothes? I'm in regular shirts, but it's definitely looking like I have a spare tire. I've had two people (whom I don't know) be able to tell I'm pregnant, so it's encouraging I don't just look like I should step away from the desserts. My Belly Band is keeping me in my jeans, but I have some maternity pants for work. Sitting all day in a belly band is for the birds.
Best moment this week: Finishing my first baby project. I got a sewing machine at Christmas and have been itching to make a blankie. It's not perfect, but it turned out much better than I expected, especially considering this is the first time I've ever used a sewing machine. :)

Worst Moment: I had a bad dream that signified miscarriage. I woke up in a cold sweat and in tears. I know God's hand is on this little peach, so I had to shake it off and let it go!
Symptoms: Headaches galore! Tylenol is seriously the worst pain reliever ever invented. It doesn't work and it's the only thing that's safe for baby.
Miss Anything? Hot baths and Advil!
Movement:
Anything making you queasy or sick?
Gender: 6 weeks and 6 days until we know. This is a test of patience.
What is baby up to? His/her vocal cords and teeth are already forming! He/she already has fingerprints! How awesome is that? The umbilical cord is moving to a more permanent place and the intestines are moving further into the body. His/her pancreas is producing insulin, which will regulate sugar levels when he/she makes the grand appearance.

His/her head to body ratio is straightening out some. The head is now only about 1/3 of the size of his/her body compared to the 1/2 it has been. Muscle control is developing, but he/she still doesn't have much control. My little frog baby is looking a bit more human since his/her eyes are moving closer together. The toes have separated into sweet, separate little digits and are the same length and the joints in the ankles have matured. Geez, there's so much going on in there!

Being Resolute

Resolution {rez-uh-loo-shuh'n}: a resolve or determination, the mental state or quality of being resolute.

I'm not a New Year's resolution kind of gal. I've made the obligatory weight loss and gym goals many years, only to go the way of the rest of the resolutioners by January 31. I've had one successful change - in 2004, I gave up the 6+ Mountain Dew's and Dr. Peppers I drank daily for water and diet beverages and have not looked back.

With 2012 being a year of big change for the Stoker family, my "resolutions" aren't the typical variety. Yes, after July, I will need to lose some baby weight and see the inside of the gym pretty frequently, but my goals this year are more important than my pants size.

This baby I'm carrying belongs to God and he's trusting Clay and me to raise him/her. That's a HUGE responsibility. God created me- He knows my flaws and my many shortcomings. What's awesome about God is that He doesn't see those things, but instead, sees my potential and He trusts goofy ol' me to bring a life into the world and to nurture it for Him.

With that being said, this year is a time to change the things that cross my mind and my lips. I know that everything that enters my mind makes up my attitude, my words and my actions, so I want everything rattling around in there to be pure. Pretty soon, every word I say will be heard by tiny, impressionable little ears, so those words need to be sweet.

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Clay and I have a very strong friendship and an incredible marriage, and with the addition of a baby, it's vital for us to nurture both relationships. We will still have to find time to spend together, just the two of us, playing Monopoly on Wii or cuddling on the couch. Just because our spare moments will be filled with feedings and diaper changes doesn't change the necessity of doing "just because" things for each other. Our family will only be as strong as our connection with one another and I pray that God will continue to show us how to keep up our relationship through the busyness of life.

If a resolution is a mental state, I'm already there. I was there when I committed my heart to Christ and to spend my life with Clay. It's only because of God's calling that either came to be and it's only through God's help that I can see these resolutions through.

What are your resolutions?

Twelve Weeks!

How far along? 12 weeks
Baby's size: The baby is roughly the size of a plum (2.1 inches long and .49 ounces)
Total weight gain/loss: I've gained a whopping 5 pounds since 11/28. Baby S has grown 2 inches since then and I had 4 Christmas gatherings, so it makes complete sense. :)
Stretch marks? Nope, not yet. I hope it stays that way.
Sleep? For the most part, I'm sleeping okay. I've had a few nights of lying awake for 2-3 hours, only to fall asleep right before the alarm goes off. Talk about infuriating.
Maternity clothes? I'm in regular shirts, but with most pants, I'm wearing a Belly Band. I did break down and buy a pair of leggings and a pair of work pants. My poor Buckle jeans are long gone. :(
Best moment this week: Hearing the little one's heartbeat again. Strong, steady 160! We also finally let everyone know about the little peanut. Keeping this a secret was torture! Since my mom couldn't tell anyone she knew, she was telling random cashiers when we went Christmas shopping. She even pulled out her iPhone to show them the ultrasound picture... which is the background of her phone. :)
Worst Moment: I really can't come up with anything.
Symptoms: Fortunately, most of the nausea has passed and I'm getting more and more energy back every day. Now I'm getting headaches and stupid Tylenol does. not. work! I'm still avoiding some food, mostly meat. I can really only eat it if it's mixed into something or on a bun. I've eaten a Lean Cuisine or two a day just because I can get some protein, even if I am eating more sodium than usual.
Miss Anything? Picking up my furbabies anytime I want to and not gagging at the smell of eggs. They're AWFUL.
Movement: I know (s)he is moving in there, but I can't feel it yet. I hope the next few weeks fly by so I can feel his/her movement!
Anything making you queasy or sick? The smell of eggs. Gag me.
Gender: I swear, making you wait until week 20 is cruel and unusual punishment.
What is baby up to? Most of his/her critical systems are formed, so (s)he's about to enter the maturation stage, meaning the organs and tissues will grow and develop quickly. His/her reflexes are developing, so if we poked her body, she'd jerk! My favorite part- she's curling her fingers and toes AND (s)he's making the sucking motion with his/her mouth. The brain and kidneys are developing rapidly; (s)he's even beginning to teetee! I think it's cute now, but ask me again after 100 or so diapers.