Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

Two months ago today, I learned of your existence. As I try to describe the flood of emotions, I find myself at a loss for words. I'll admit it- the first was panic. While your Daddy and I have dreamed of you, you were arriving a bit earlier than we expected (you take after me and not your Daddy in that aspect). When my nerves settled, I got giggly. You'll inevitably see this emotion from me plenty of times. No matter the emotion I'm feeling, I feel it deeply... and wear it on my sleeve. Before I even told your Daddy about you, I was already picturing your cute little mouth and eyes the color of your Daddy's.

Speaking of your Daddy, when he found out, he started glowing. It makes me tear up every time I think of his reaction to the news. I was in tears, thinking he'd be concerned about your early arrival, but he got a big, goofy grin. He's an incredible, incredible man and will be an amazing Dad. He talks about you all the time and when he gets home from work, he rubs my belly and talks to you. He is so smitten already and you're still less than 3 inches long!

Your Daddy's smile was even bigger!

My lifelong dream has always been to have a family.  I've had the typical girl fantasies of a handsome husband, well-behaved kids, a dog or two and a home with a fenced backyard.  Growing up, I played house with my neighbors and cousins and I had more "life-like" baby dolls than any girl ever should.  I nursed boo boos, made up bedtime stories, and went on dates with my imaginary husband.

In June 2011, part one of that fantasy came true when I married your Daddy.  As you'll see in these posts, our relationship hasn't been perfect, but it was perfect for us.  We fought hard for our relationship and God intervened at the right time to ensure our union.  While we had a rough few months, it was all worth it because we learned how to communicate, how important our love for one another was, and most importantly, how important God's role in a relationship is.  When we got married, we had the dogs and the house, so all that was missing was you!  We had planned to wait to try for you until spring/summer of 2012, but God had other plans.

In all my daydreaming, I never went past the ideal scenario and considered what my fantasies entailed.  A marriage takes work- it takes a real commitment and genuine love for one another, learning to live with what you see as flaws in the other person (you know, leaving dirty socks in the middle of the floor or thinking every knick-knack in the house has a PRECISE spot), and being the person your mate needs and wants you to be.  Through our struggles, we learned how to deal with so many things, but marriage is definitely a never-ending lesson and one that I'm enjoying more than I ever imagined.

In regard to you, I didn't really consider the sleepless nights or the expense of diapers and daycare.  I never considered how my actions would affect you.  I thought about the adorable clothes and your toothless grins, the cute nursery and how good babies smell.  After all, this was a fantasy- who wanted to think of the hard stuff? Now that we're just 6 months away from meeting you, those thoughts are creeping in.  I can't believe it, but this lazy ol' bum is excited about all the work.  Sure, I hope you miraculously sleep through the night (bonus points if you're born potty trained), but since chances of that are slim, I look forward to the hours we'll spend cuddled together while I sing you to sleep (thank God that you won't remember this time and therefore, won't be terrified of my voice), changing diapers (or laughing as Daddy does it), and changing your clothes for the 4th time in one day. I realize that while I'm doing the not-so-pleasant things, I will also be watching you as you discover your little fingers and toes, seeing you smile for the first time and take your first steps.

Since we got married, Daddy and I have been talking about the aspects of our raising that we want our children to learn and the things we may do differently.  The closer we get to your arrival, the more I think of these things.  I realized last week that so many things I do and think are products of my raising and when a friend had a hard time, I was able to point to something in her childhood that produced the behavior.  I'll be honest here again- that scared me to death!  Your Daddy had a good point when I voiced my concerns: he and I were raised in similar fashions by great parents and with role models like that, we have patterns to repeat and a strong support system.  No, I don't know how we'll actually handle certain parenting situations because we've never done it and each kiddo is different, but I do know that we'll do everything in our power to make your life a great one.

I am probably beginning to babble because there is so much I want to say to you.  I will leave you with this: you are already loved so much, by Daddy and me, but also by your grandparents and our families.  Your Daddy and I have some awesome friends who are just as anxious about meeting you as we are.  More importantly, God loves you more than any of us could ever fathom.  He has ordained your life for something special and your Daddy and I have already given you back to Him.  Since you are God's child and we were chosen to raise you, we will rely heavily on God's direction.  While we make mistakes in our lives and will in yours, please know that we consider you in every move we make and are doing our very best to mold you into a great man or woman of God.

We love you and can't wait to meet you!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

PS. I'm adding these photos in for reference of all the people who are excited about your arrival.  Before you see the pictures, let me explain.  Facebook is a social networking site that's used by millions.  By the time you read my blog posts and this letter, chances are good that Facebook will only be found in history books.  You post something and all of your online friends can see.  They can choose to respond or just "like" what you have to say.  Just announcing your arrival made a lot of people really happy.





Every time I post about you, whether it's hearing your perfect little heartbeat or a picture of something that belongs to you, people go nuts!  You're a popular kiddo already and it makes this mommy very proud!