Guilt by Association

When Clay and I began talking about marriage, we had a few talking points to hash out. Being a CPA, his biggest concern was finances. Being a woman, mine was parenting. After preliminary talks, we determined we were on the same page and off to the chapel we went!

Now that we're married and the prospect of children is much more real, we've been discussing this in more detail. (No, we're not trying for that grandbaby, Mom) Unless you count our furbabies, Bailey and Jenna (which I typically do), we have never been parents before. The thought is daunting. My every action can potentially influence another life. I don't even like to choose a restaurant- how can I steer a child's life?

During our wedding, Clay and I took communion together and he prayed for us. Included in that prayer was a request to mold us into the people we need to be for our future children. Since then, I have been praying for the same thing. Not only do I need to learn to be unselfish, but I need to know how to raise a vulnerable little child. What do I do if a bully is harassing my child? I want him/her to learn from the experience but really want to just beat the bully down. How do I keep my child away from sex, drugs and cigarettes? Neither of us smokes and we don't really drink but kids learn about these things at a younger age now.

Thinking back, my mom always had the answers for everything I encountered. When I was younger, her famous catchphrase “guilty by association” drove me insane. Now that I’m older (but young looking) and wiser, I know she was right. That lesson about choosing friends wisely stuck and her catchphrase still rings in my ears in certain situations.

Last night, while I was thinking about the phrase and realized that my mom is not really a genius (at least in this instance), but that she cheated with all these lessons. :) Every single lesson we learn in life is in the Good Book.

For instance, the Bible is abundantly clear about choosing friends wisely. "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company ruins good morals.'" (1 Corinthians 15:33 ) "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise; but the companion of fools will suffer harm." (Proverbs 13:20) "The righteous shall choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray." (Proverbs 12:26)

How do I deal with a punk child bullying my child? “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.” (Leviticus 19:18) “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy but I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in Heaven.’” (Matthew 5:43-44) What was mom’s catchphrase for this? “Kill them with kindness.” This is the ol’ “you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar” approach.

As all parents do, Clay and I will encounter situations we don’t know how to deal with. Or worse, situations that our flesh wants to take over. How do we handle those? If we can't approach each and every situation he/she will encounter, how do we equip him/her to handle them? That's easy. We open the pages of a familiar, timeless best-seller and learn from our Creator. We follow His path for if you “train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)